Anyone who's been around for long enough in our virtual world has encountered them, those strange individuals who seem unaware of our earthly customs. Seemingly unencumbered by good manners or etiquette, they go about colding innocent bystanders; unabashedly soliciting for mating opportunities. In the best case we find them awkwardly flirting using the same pre-programmed lines over and over. Who are these strange dwellers of the matrix?

For long it was thought these were just the immature of the species. Yet their behaviour has always exhibited something distinctly alien, as if the cold slimy touch of tentacled paws can be felt through the pixels flickering on the screen. The Hidden Circle Gazette can now confirm, on the basis of solid evidence, this is not just an unwarranted feeling!

For reasons of national security we will not reveal the exact location of the crash site, but the remains of an extraterrestrial vessel were recently discovered. Even more concerning, a semi invisible creature was seen fleeing the site! Although no colds were directly observed, the icy trail left behind left little to the imagination.

Decades of speculation on this issue have finally come to an end; we will never look upon a cold in quite the same way ever again. Remember folks, the truth is out there!

The Hidden Circle Gazette has a proven track record of serious journalism. It is in this spirit that we call upon you, dear reader, to keep an eye open and keep us informed of all the strange things you hear and see.

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