No sooner was the Summer 2024 Update for 3DX announced or the first disgruntled voices could be heard murmuring from the depts of cyberspace. From unfortunate souls suddenly getting shunned by over zealous anti virus guardians to professional complainers lamenting the glaring absence of yet another pet feature, the dials in Discord’s machine rooms were all quickly driven into the red.
But nothing riled the masses as much as the continuing disparity between men and women, brought to a head by new hair options only available to the fairer sex. Upon learning of this new insult to the masculine half of the 3DX population, people took to the virtual streets in droves.
The situation quickly got hairy and one could hear angry voices throwing insults at the powers that be. Bits and bytes were ripped from the pavements and thrown indiscriminately at the poor officials that dared show their profiles. One projectile just missed our reporter by a hair! We haven’t seen such madness since the pole dancing riots of ’68, said one shocked moderator.
That there’s a serious hair in the 3DX butter is further evidenced by comments from the political arena, with renowned upstart Rigel Garage pointing out that hair styles are a matter of national pride. In typical fashion the controversial politician adds that player’s subscription fees should not be used to spice the Steam Union and RLC immigrants should not be eligible for free shampoo. Then again, he never was one to split hairs over these radical policies.
Protests continued all day and well into the night, without any sign of subsiding. For sure, a bad hair day for the unfortunate tourist caught up in the middle of the rowdy bunch. By sunset, the state of the predominantly male protesters was such that we suspect some will be needing the hair of the dog in the morning!
For now though dear reader, it is time for us to let our hair down and conclude this report. Our advice, as always, is to keep calm and not turn a hair.
The somewhat unexpected Summer 2024 update introduces an entirely new hair styling system to 3DX Chat. According to the game publisher this is a groundbreaking feature that enables players to create unique hairstyles . Each hairstyle consists of pre-designed elements such as bangs, ponytails, base parts, and shaved sections. These elements, crafted by professional designers, come in a wide array of styles, shapes, and lengths. They can be combined in various ways to offer a huge range of possibilities. Sadly the new system is currently only available for female avatars.
You got socks. Quit complaining. {Giggles}