In the vast expanse of 3DX, where people and passion intertwine, few venues have cultivated a community as rich and authentic as The Consensual. Born from the shared vision of a dedicated team, this BDSM club transcends the typical dungeon aesthetic, offering a sanctuary where respect, exploration, and connection are paramount.
Whether you’re a seasoned participant or a curious newcomer, The Consensual invites you to explore a space where every interaction is grounded in mutual respect and consent. Prepare to discover a community that celebrates the diverse tapestry of human desire as we delve into the origins, experiences, and the heartbeat of this unique venue in a unique interview with the people that made it happen:
How did The Consensual come to be?
SugarHoney: The Consensual has a rather long and complicated origin story. It all began in 2020 when I created an avatar to explore my submissive side online in a safe way. Back then, there were only a few BDSM spaces in 3DX, and the ‘community’ was already splintered into cliques that often didn’t have much good to say about one another.
When I thought I had finally found my place, a relationship drama blew up and suddenly I was out on my own again. That’s when someone I barely knew whispered to me: ‘What happened? How are you? Can I do something for you?’ That someone was Shane Darko. Later, Shane introduced me to Kaylee Green and Obscura.
The quarrel and drama led me to three wonderful people. We became friends and founded Stardust together. One of our early projects was The Consensual. We wanted to create a real, safe BDSM community space, inspired by clubs like Noir Desire’s, ManNoire, and the Bunker.
Our vision was and still is…simple: A space where no one fears exclusion or banishment because of personal differences or rumors. A community where people meet with friendliness, openness, and respect. A place to learn, grow, and explore safely. A space where almost anything is possible — as long as it is consensual.
Consensual Trailer from 2021
What kind of experience are you aiming to give visitors?
KirbyBliss:Our aim is to make everyone feel welcome and safe. We offer a club where people interested in BDSM can meet like-minded individuals and explore their interests consensually. We want people to feel free to explore and learn from one another in an open, respectful, and tolerant environment.
SugarHoney:When you hear the term BDSM club, certain images probably spring to mind some enticing, others intimidating. We wanted to move away from the dark dungeon cliché. Too often BDSM is mistaken for nothing more than sex, pain, and humiliation. But those aren’t requirements at all.
From the beginning, our goal was to dispel misconceptions. Whether someone is a newcomer, vanilla, or a long-time practitioner, we want them to feel comfortable.
In the early days, we focused more on sessions and kinky play. Today, we focus just as much on the lifestyle, the self-awareness, the personal growth, and the open-mindedness that come with it.
For newcomers, we even set up a small meet room with a cozy fireplace, a gentle place to talk and find your footing. And for regulars, there’s music, dancing, laughter, and of course, our BDSM playgrounds and spa. Some guests aren’t into BDSM at all, but they still come for the atmosphere, the DJs, or the SophistiCats’ dance shows.
We enjoy offering a colorful mix of possibilities. Nothing is a must but everything can be. As long as it’s consensual.
How would you describe the community around your venue?
KirbyBliss:I think our community is one of the most diverse I’ve ever been part of. Our weekly events attract people from all kinds of backgrounds. Some come to explore kinks, others come for the music, the art, or simply the welcoming atmosphere.
We’re fortunate to have built a community based on mutual respect, tolerance, and neutrality. And it doesn’t stop at The Consensual, Stardust hosts other rooms like Abnormal, Club Zart Bitter, TNT Music Club, and more. Each one adds to the fabric of the community.
And of course, we have the SophistiCats our beloved dance group, who just celebrated their fourth anniversary. Their shows bring so much joy and energy every week.
Who are the people behind The Consensual?
SugarHoney:That’s not an easy question. Since we started in 2020, so many people have contributed to The Consensual. At our 5th anniversary, we plan to honor everyone by covering the club walls with names, a way to say thank you to all who’ve supported us.
KirbyBliss: We’re very lucky to have an amazing team.
SugarHoney:In the beginning, I was the only builder working on Consensual and Stardust projects. By 2022, it became clear the club needed a redesign, better layout, equal access to playgrounds, and more. I quickly realized the scale of it was too much for one person. So I asked my good friend ENNO for help. He joined the team and has been our builder ever since.
ENNO: I attach great importance to uniqueness. That’s why I try not to download any built parts from the internet. I think it’s nice when you can create perfect spaces that no one else has. With the current frequency of new themes and spaces, it’s unfortunately not always possible to get by without downloads, which I understand
What bout the DJs you use?
KirbyBliss:We want people to enjoy themselves, so we select DJs who contribute to the atmosphere. We mostly play rock, but on the last Sunday of the month, we host Sensual Nights with more erotic and romantic vibes. I’m lucky to have amazing DJ managers, Sahyuri and Venita, who find talent and bring diversity.
Venita:I was Consensual Club Manager for 2 years until 2025. Before I was party promoter and talent scout. The most successful artist I was lucky to discover is Sahyuri who end of 2024 became a music manager too. DJs do not have to be famous to get a chance to play at the Consensual, but we like to get to know them and listen to a set first.
We don’t dictate in detail what DJs play, we let them express their personality and taste. That said, our guests love rock, gothic rock, symphonic metal and related genres for the most part. On Sensual Nights, we shift into a more intimate mood which can include total different and variable genres, more into a romantic or erotic direction.
The Consensual was known for its workshops, can you tell us a little more about those?
KirbyBliss:Those were our BDSM talks we started in 2021. They were well received, and we hope they helped people explore and learn. We ended that format at the end of 2024, but now we’re planning something new: a ‘Meet and Discuss’ format. People will introduce themselves, then dive into the topic. We hope this makes it easier for everyone to share and learn together.
Finally, regarding the future of The Consensual, we are excited to share some wonderful new projects that we will be working on with other parts of our Stardust family in the upcoming months. In November, The Consensual will hold a two-night event to celebrate our fifth anniversary. We will invite as many past team members and DJs as possible to thank everyone who has contributed to making The Consensual what it is today and celebrate with them.
Another event we are planning is called ExMachina and is brought to you by the amazing Sophisitcats and the band Soon. Produced by TrinTrin and Sahyuri and choreographed by Desifer, it is an experience we are excited to host.
The final event we’re excited about is a fashion show from Berghain. For this event, we are teaming up with Enno to put on a fashion show with Consensual flair. The beautiful Kirastar will be organizing it.
What sets The Consensual apart do you hink?
SugarHoney:Our team and guests are incredibly diverse, you’d probably get many answers to this question. For me, it’s the way interactions here are shaped by respect, appreciation, mindfulness, and tolerance. Small things in how we treat one another add up, and those small things make all the difference.
KirbyBliss:We want people to enjoy exploring and to feel safe being themselves. That’s why we run things like the Monday Consensual Lounge, where people can relax and connect more deeply.
We’re also planning new projects, like high-protocol events focusing on formal manners, and BDSM discussions in the new ‘meet and discuss’ style. Combined with our DJs, events, and the SophistiCats, we offer a space where people can find their place and come together for a wonderful, exciting, kinky and always Consensual time.
What would you recommend to someone starting out in the BDSM life style?
SugarHoney:The starting point and main character of your journey is YOU. Start with yourself. Sit down and ask a few honest questions:
Why do I want to join the BDSM community?
What sparked my interest?
Are there things I desire?
Are there things that put me off things I don’t like?
You might not know the answers straight away, and that’s fine. Whether you’re brand-new or you’ve been around the block, it’s healthy to listen to your inner voice now and then to clarify your feelings, desires, and boundaries. Over time, some answers will become clearer; others may change. Be open and honest with yourself.
Communication…be direct and authentic. A good motto: Say what you do and do what you say. But also be careful: don’t share sensitive personal data or images too freely.
Respect… remember you always have the right to end a conversation or interaction. If something makes you uncomfortable, say so. Expect the same courtesy in return.
Trust.. no matter which part of BDSM you explore, trust is essential. Trust grows from healthy communication, mutual respect, and when people’s words match their actions.
With those three keys, Communication, Respect, Trust in your toolkit, you’re in a strong place to begin.
Take time to survey the scene. Try to get an overview of the community as neutrally as possible: visit big rooms and small rooms, look around, and form your own opinion rather than relying on rumours. First impressions aren’t always the whole story.
Expect setbacks. People let you down sometimes; things go differently than planned. But once you know the values that matter to you, it becomes easier to find people who share them.
We sincerely hope that in such difficult moments, you too have people around you who will support and help you. For my part i am very glad and happy to have my husband, Sam, who joined 3DXtogether with me, who always supports me and gives me strength. Also, I met wonderful people and found good friends very fast.
Not everyone is immediately kissed by luck as I am and many start their journey alone.
Places we recommend
Of course there are other good places too, but with these people/places we have had positive experiences ever since they started:
The Summit
Has hosted over 130 discussions on 3DX since 11/2/2022 and offers a lot of information and help on their discord. Open every Wednesday 6PM EDT – 7:30PM EDT. Munch hosted on the 2nd to last Sunday of every month from 11AM EDT – 2PM EDT with introductions and an opening topic.
Contacts: NanaZaya and SophieNanu
The Ascension
A monthly gathering in game on the last Tuesday of each month, opening at 8PM EST time until 11PM EST, with discussion at 9:30PM EST. More details on the Ascension discord.
Contacts: Lamby and Vampire X
Final Thoughts
Five years in, The Consensual is more than just a club. It’s a living, breathing community space that has grown with its people. What began as a response to exclusion and drama has evolved into a home where respect, fun, and exploration thrive. From DJs and dance shows to high-protocol events and meet-and-discuss sessions, The Consensual keeps evolving but always stays true to its core principle: nothing here happens unless it’s consensual.
With Special Thanks to KayleeGreen, KirbyBliss and SugarHoney
If you like to learn more about The Consensual you can join the Stardust Discord, or contact KirbyBliss (Manager of The Consensual), TeacherFR, Venita or SugarHoney.
