One chilly December night at the North Pole, Mrs Claus was bundled up by the fire, her peppermint cocoa steaming, her favourite blanket tucked snugly around her. All was calm and bright, almost too calm in fact. The elves were wrapping up last-minute toys, the reindeer were trying to one-up each other on launch heights, and Santa…well, Santa had slipped off somewhere. Again.
Now, this was becoming a bit of a habit. Santa would finish dinner, let out that legendary “Ho ho ho!” that shook the roof beams, and then disappear, leaving only his empty cocoa mug and a faint jingle in the air. Mrs. Claus had brushed it off at first, but tonight something about his swift exit made her curious.
As she shuffled down the hall, she noticed an unusual glow coming from Santa’s study, normally a realm of ancient maps, sack-filling strategies, and cookie crumb trails. Santa’s tech skills maxed out somewhere around “moderately competent at sleigh GPS,” so what was this ominous blue light spilling into the hallway?
Mrs Claus tiptoed closer and, peering through the crack in the door, spotted Santa in his big leather chair, squinting intensely at the computer screen. And was that…a virtual reality game? She squinted harder. The screen featured a muscular man, shirtless, flexing muscles that Santa’s usual flannel couldn’t even dream of showing off. Beside him, a suggestive-looking elf giggled and swayed. “3DXChat” blinked in big, bold letters at the top of the screen.
Mrs Claus’s mouth fell open. Santa Claus. In a virtual reality game. With an avatar who looked ready to join a rock band or be the lead Chippendale.
“Ahem,” she said, crossing her arms, doing her best to sound like the final word in Christmas discipline.
Santa’s entire body jolted just as the elf on the screen let out an alarmingly high-pitched moan, which Santa desperately tried to mute, his hands fumbling with the mouse. His cheeks turned the same rosy hue as his coat, right up to his twinkling eyes.
“Oh! Um.. hello, dear! Didn’t see you there,” Santa stammered, eyes darting between his screen and his wife. “I.. well, ermmm, I?” He stuttered.
“Well, you see…” Santa scratched his head, cheeks reddening more. “It’s… networking! Yes, networking! Just, um, exploring new ways to spread the Christmas spirit.” He tugged at his collar. “They call it 3DXChat. Very popular, it turns out.”
Mrs Claus folded her arms, giving him a look that was part amusement, part curiosity. “Is that why you’re salsa dancing on a beach in your swim trunks?”
“Look,” he said, sheepishly, “the world is changing. I figured I could, you know, get a feel for what people enjoy these days.” Mrs Claus smirked, eyebrows raised. “So people are enjoying pool parties on ‘Love Island,’ are they?”
Santa tugged at his beard. “Well, it’s one of the rooms. You wouldn’t believe the social trends out there, Martha! I’ve met people from all over. There’s SnowBunny85 from Norway-big fan of eggnog! And then PartyElf from New Zealand, who showed me a dance called ‘Gangnam’!”
“And I suppose that explains the Sin Club room?” Mrs. Claus shot back, barely holding back a laugh.
Santa chuckled, caught in the act. “Well, I had to see everything, didn’t I? It’s, uh, ‘immersive research.’ I even danced with a big boobed lady named ArcticCharm! I swear, it’s all in the name of Santa’s work.”
Mrs Claus’ laughter filled the room. “Santa, supervising” in a virtual world? “Research, huh? So, the ‘Naughty List’ is now a six-pack abs list, and those ‘work elves’ are…extra friendly assistants?”
Santa’s blush grew even brighter. “I might’ve just…needed a break. It’s the same thing, year after year, checking lists, polishing the sleigh, figuring out how many carbs a reindeer can handle.” He sighed. “I heard the elves talking about this ‘3DXChat,’ and I thought, ‘Why not try something new?’ It’s a…creative outlet!”
“Oh, I can see it’s creative,” she said, struggling to keep a straight face. “That buff avatar of yours is very creative, don’t think I didn’t see it, it’s not what I’d call ‘authentically’ Claus.’”
Santa gave an embarrassed chuckle, leaning back and rubbing his belly. “Alright, you got me. I was just having a little fun. Sometimes it’s nice to, you know, unwind. Even Saint Nick gets a bit frazzled with all this ‘holiday cheer’ business!”
“Fun?” she echoed, eyes twinkling. “Well, I suppose even Santa deserves some time off. But next time,” she said, leaning closer, “don’t have all the fun without me.”
Santa blinked, eyebrows raised. “You want to join?”
She grinned. “Why not? I’ve always wanted to try an avatar myself. Maybe a bikini-clad sexy snow queen?”
Santa let out a loud, booming laugh, his belly shaking like, well, you know. “Now that’s an adventure! Mrs Claus in the digital realm, dancing in a bikini!.”
“Only one rule, though,” she added, wagging a finger. “No more sneaking off with flirty elves. Deal?”
“Deal,” Santa said, raising his hand in a solemn oath.
And so, instead of checking lists or prepping the sleigh, Mr. and Mrs Claus spent their evening side by side in 3DX. Santa left his red suit behind, Mrs Claus wielded her candy-cane bikini, and together, they discovered that even North Pole royalty needed a little fun now and then, especially when shared.
By Eskarina
